Monday, July 29, 2013

Turning a dream into a reality.. and the emotional roller coaster we're on to get there


This year has been a crazy year for my family. When the summer began, I resigned my position as a Director of a child care facility to stay home with my children. The decision to leave my job was a tough one, involving a lot of prayer and deep discussion with those who I am close to. Turns out God was pointing me in the right direction as we have made another (well, TWO, actually) huge decision for our family.

We bought a restaurant. 
....and a house on 8 acres... In the country.
Let's make things even more interesting and throw in a donkey and a horse...and...wait for it...a PREGNANT horse. We've never owned a horse before...or a donkey. In fact, the largest animal we own is my beloved and incredibly overweight yellow lab. I can't even tell you the difference between a donkey, a mule, a jackal. I'm willing to learn though.

Insane, right? I mean who in the world buys into a franchise in the country and who in the WORLD wants to raise their children in the sticks? Just call us, Hillbilly Jon & his doting wife Sara. :) 

You see..it's always been my husbands dream to own his own business. So..when an opportunity comes along..who are we to pass it up? Who are we to argue with Gods plan for us? In church just this past Sunday the pastor reminded me that as a wife my job is to respect & support my husband. Jon's dream is to own his own business.. MY dream is to see our family happy and successful. Kind of lucked out with a two-fer here. 

We've had people say it's 'CRAZY'. How on earth are you going to raise three children in the country? We've had people remind us of the amount of stress we're going to be under. We've had people say it just won't work. We quietly remind people if we don't try...we'll never know. I told a dear friend of mine the other day: maybe I should give them my shoes so they can tell me how & where to walk my mile. On the flip side, we've had those who support us %110. Those who believe in where we are going and have offered to help in every way possibly. We're so grateful to everyone who has offered their opinions. The Negative Nancy's only drive us to work harder and the Positive Penelope's give us the comfort we need in times of doubt. 

Decision made? Check!
Paperwork signed? Check!
Pack our stuff/start the kids in school/start work/deliver a horse?? Ehhhhhh... that's laying in front of us now.
I can't wait to share this experience with you.. and to see how the rest of our lives play out.


Thursday, July 25, 2013

Adjusting to life as a stay at home parent.. the reality


Since having my children, I've pretty much always been a working mom. I was that mom who worked and resented working. I was the mom who worked all day, came home, and basically crashed after doing the mad must-do-homework-make-supper-give-baths-with-a-quickness dash. Every working mother knows that dance. It's a couple hours of evening insanity that not only are you experiencing, your neighbors are probably going through that same...joy...as well.

This year, my husband and I decided that we were tired of doing the evening-o'-hell-dance. We
were tired of cramming an entire days worth of parenting into two or three not-so-fun hours. We were determined to make a change. Our oldest daughter is headed into (GASP) dreaded middle school. Our youngest daughter is heading into Pre-K. We've come to the realization that our kids need us more now that they're in school. So, we decided I would quit my job and be a stay at home mom. We took the plunge

I was so excited to stay home with my girls. I had visions of a spotless house, perfectly well-mannered children, a vegetable garden growing in the backyard, and a beautiful home-cooked meal laid on the table every evening. I imagined my family life was simply perfect..Southern Living perfect. How can someone not be excited about staying at home with their family?

Reality slapped me in the face with a quickness. I never did have the unrealistic expectation that I'd sleep in every day and that staying home would be easy. I certainly did not think that I could change the dynamic of my family overnight.. I did, however, hope that we could jump into the swing of our new lifestyle rather quickly and that the adjustment would be an easy one. Life has a funny way of proving me wrong. Quite often, actually.

You see...my kids are now together 24/7. They miss their individual friends and tend to take that out on each other. Sisters naturally tend to disagree but when they don't ever...EVER...get a break from each other, the disagreements quickly escalate from bickering to WW3. It amazes me how kids can be so mean to each other! To keep drama at a minimum, we try to keep activities going and we attempt to get out and explore our community.  Until the rain comes in...and this summer has produced so much rain that I think Mother Nature is straight up telling me 'Nah, Nah, Nah, Boo, Boo! You quit your job so I'll show you!' Much to my dismay, Mother Nature does not have a complaint department that I can email my problems to. We're wrapping up the wettest summer in history and we've pretty much just had to suck it up.

I've also learned cooking is not my forte. In the beginning, I googled countless recipes. With excitement and long grocery lists, we tackled the grocery store in search of random items such as zucchini (for a family that considers corn their staple veggie..this one is huge), ground ginger, garlic cloves.. We'd come home and I'd 'whip up' meals that somehow..every time..seemed to qualify for the Pinterest FAIL blogs. Not one to give in easily, I'm still trying to get it right. For someone who is in her (VERY) early 30's, you'd think I'd have cooking down pat. The good news is.. my husband is one who will happily choke down the disaster I place in front of him. He'll smile and say 'Yeah..it's great!' while our kids are bawling because they've discovered they loathe zucchini. They're far more transparent than he is.

My point to this rambling blog is this: It's hard to be a parent. Period. It's not easy when you're working, away from our home and children because you feel as though you're missing out on so much in their lives. Your house is always a disaster and you find yourself in the middle of a rat race, feeling as though you're always coming in last. It's just as hard though, to be a stay at home parent. You find yourself missing out on the adult world. You will have days when your husband comes home and you BOLT out of the house.. trying to seek out whatever peace and quiet you can. Your house is a mess, either way. Your kids are sassy, either way. Laundry will pile up, either way. You are stressed either way.

I don't regret my decision to stay home with my girls, for my family it's what needed to happen. I will say...without a doubt... being a stay-at-home mother is the hardest job I've ever done. I do miss working outside of the home and the face-to-face interacting with adults but when I did work I missed my kids even more. I see working moms that resent home moms and I also see mother who stay at home who resent the working mother. There simply is no happy medium. Reality is..parenting is hard.

The most important thing is.. I'm lucky enough to have the children God asked me to look after. I love being with them and I hope that they love being with me. Working or not, I've decided to care for them to the best of my abilities...even if that means forcing them to eat horrid zucchini.