Don't forget to tie down the mattress!

*I wrote this two.five years ago..still makes me happy. 

Mattress Shenanigans

By Sara D. Simmons

My husband works for a national restaurant and our family recently relocated to Brandon, Mississippi from our long time home in Augusta, Georgia. Moving to a new state and leaving behind a multitude of family and friends can be very traumatic sad. The following is just one incident that occurred while our parents were helping us settle into our new home state.

Had to purchase new mattresses for the two older girls (potty training is never nice to a set of mattresses, I don't care who the kids are). So....my husband Jon and I went hunting all day Friday for new mattresses. Trying to shop for something “boring” like mattresses is not appealing to children. We received looks from several sales associates practically begging us to remove our litter of kids from their stores. Finally, we found two nice Serta sets at Cowboy Maloney’s (local store that sells everything on the planet) for a great price.

We pick up the beds in my mom & her friend John's trailer and proceed to drive home. We're driving down I-55 around 6:15 (yes...rush hour traffic in the Capitol of Mississippi) going around 65 mph (which I realize now was pretty stupid). I happen to look into my rear-view mirror and low and behold I see the box-springs THIRTY FEET IN THE AIR!!!! OH MY GOD!!! The poor guy driving the SUV behind the trailer had to soil his pants when he realized there was a twin-sized box-spring headed straight toward his windshield. Luckily, he was able to swiftly maneuver his vehicle safely to another lane...I was screaming in my car, Jon was furious and yelling colorful words (that children should NEVER hear…but let’s be honest..they sometimes do), the girls were crying, Bella had produced the biggest amount of stinky poop in her diaper I've ever seen in my LIFE, my mother and her boyfriend are running down the interstate waving like maniacs at the oncoming traffic to swerve.

Thank God, no one was hurt....with the exception of the poor, broken box-spring that skidded down the interstate at 65 mph and almost caused a 500 car pile-up during Friday evening rush hour. Sigh...Want to throw in a huge THANK YOU to the wonderful salesmen at Cowboy Maloney’s for the THIRD box spring they sold us. Never seen someone laugh quite that hard…